Monthly archives of “July 2016

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How to Fabricate a Fake Boyfriend

You guys, isn’t Netflix’s Stranger Things the most amazing tv series you’ve seen this year? It has EVERYTHING: 80s nostalgia, Matrix-like scenes, children riding their bikes, an amazing soundtrack, breathtaking cinematography and FREAKING WINONA RYDER!

Everything.

I started watching it without having seen the trailer first, partly because lately I’m hating all trailers and party because the presence of my girl Winona seemed more than enough of a reason to give it a chance.

I finished the pilot with a pretty clear idea of what the series was going to be: a pleasant, goonies-like childhood adventure with a hint of tension and a bagillion references to the decade I was born in. It sounded like  uncomplicated fun for all ages and I was up for it!

One episode later, my feelings started to change.

gonnahavenightmares

The situation escalated quickly.

In the haunting solitude of my apartment on a Sunday afternoon, I found out that Stranger Things is actually scary as fuck. While my desperate cry for help was going unheard, I knew I should have pressed pause right there, but that mix of love and fear growing inside of me just wouldn’t let me.

I watched the whole thing like I was in a trance and once the final end credits rolled out I realized that A) the room was now completely dark and B) I had to go to bed soon.

Alone. Read More

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6 Freaky Things About Berlin Startups

Unless “mystery shopper” and “cat sitter”  really count as grownup jobs, it is fair to admit that I never had a job before moving to Germany. I had a family, though, and that family was led by two proud members of your average Italian working class. They took pride in enduring through their working hours for me and my sister, embraced the suffering of it and its discouraging lack of prospects. As I witnessed my parents’ lives, I grew up preparing psychologically for the depressing start of my career, kind of like a criminal prepares for jail time.

After five years in Berlin and more than one tech company on my resume, I can say that working here has been mildly weird, consistently fun and nothing like I was expecting. These are six things that struck me about German tech startups.

1) Quirky Team Names

One thing I’ve learned from the German startup scene, is that descriptive names are so very passé. If you’re hired as an accountant in a tech company, for example, the chances you’ll end up working in the “finance team” are extremely slim. Your team will instead be referred to with the name of an animal/a famous scientist/a made-up native American tribe.   You will attend serious meetings meant to address the concerning performance of the angora rabbits, to contemplate the possibility of new hires among the raccoons or to find a new leader for the alpacas. My scientific guess is that by the year 2025 all the animal names will be taken and startups will have to start exploring uncharted territories, naming their teams after things like sexually transmitted diseases, stripper nicknames, pokemons and toppings you can find on frozen yogurt.

Read the rest of this post on The Local

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5 Date Ideas For ABC’s The Bachelorette

I don’t know how this happened, but my boyfriend and I watched three episodes of ABC’s dating show The Bachelorette.

The current season is about single lady JoJo Fletcher looking for her soul mate among a group of men who secretly aim at becoming  underwear models and being booked for wild club nights in Pocatello, Idaho.

the bachelorette

In order to know the contestants better, JoJo gets to interact with them through two kinds of social occasions: the cocktail party and the date. The cocktail party is an evening event where everybody gets to dress nicely and be as slutty and inappropriate as humanly possible thanks to roofies dropped in everyone’s glass by the producers of the show (if this isn’t true, I am blaming Marti Noxon). The date, on the other hand, shows sober contestants in your typical first date activities, such as role playing fire fighters out for a 911 call or flying to San Francisco on a private jet.

Now. I know that tv calls for entertainment, but my girl JoJo is admittedly trying to find A HUSBAND and I don’t think she’s being given conclusive information on these boys. Because honestly, I would marry the monster of Milwaukee right now if our first date involved a private jet.

For this reason, I’ve compiled a list of 5 exciting date ideas that will provide JoJo and future bachelorettes with everything they need to know in order to recognize THE ONE. You’re welcome ABC.

1) 12 Hour Shopping Spree (Endurance Comp.)

Bring your beau on a twelve hour shopping spree to find mascara, a pair of socks and a winter  jacket for your dog. Try to explain to him the complex ecosystem of animal clothing brands and ask his opinion on which shade of black better suits your eyes. Read More