August 18, 2014
In the beginning was Kreuzberg.
With its cozy restaurants, hipster cafés and mandatory vegetarian alternatives, this district of Berlin was the garden of Eden of lunch opportunities and thus a perfect location for any office. With an infinite range of healthy options, doing the right thing always came natural to me and my co-workers.
Moving to Mitte, right after that, was the real game changer. Whilst this district can seduce you with its neat streets and beautiful buildings, some parts of it don’t make the hunt for food an enjoyable process. On our first day at the new office, me and my friend Catherine wandered through a desert of hot concrete and pretty facades in search of something to eat.
We felt like Jesus: hungry, fatigued and about to be tested in the Wilderness.
After 40 days and 40 nights (actually we have a 1 hour lunch break, so it must have been 10 minutes) the devil appeared in front of us in all its
tempting charme disputable architectural choices.
Alexa, one of the biggest malls in Berlin, whispered in our ears promises of high-in-carbs delicious lunches. We knew our diet was being tested and remembered that when Satan offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the World and their splendor, J was like “I’m fine, thanks.”.
Of course the “splendor” part couldn’t possibly include air conditioning, frozen yogurt or 20 minutes on an armchair that gives you a full body massage. And above all, it certainly didn’t include a food court. Continue Reading →
July 26, 2014
I haven’t listened to a lot of new stuff in July.
provincia – bronson
Lara Martelli is back with a bold confessional song about the reality she’s trapped in as an artist.
everything works – miracle fortress
This is the song I will think of when remembering 2014. Even though it was released ages ago.
take me to church – sinead o’connor Continue Reading →
July 17, 2014
This – in many senses – was a hot concert.
Charity Children were basically born in Berlin (at least artistically) and even though they’re so young (at least artistically) their loyal following was ready to sell out their Berlin show and occupy Kreuzbergian Club “Lido”.
Which leads to the less metaphorical sense of my first sentence.
Warmest week of the year + No air conditioning + Tons of people = A night (whose smell) I will never forget!
The opener was the shockingly good Alice Phoebe Lou, a young South African singer with a dense voice and good stuff to play.
Watch out, Charity Children, ’cause you may end up opening her concerts sooner than you think!
Break in the smoking area, because lung cancer is better than locker room memories. Continue Reading →
July 2, 2014
The term Sleepsnacking indicates the uncontrollable urge to bolt down junk food while asleep.
Sleepsnackers can be completely unaware of their disease, sometimes for years.
Typical signs that a person might be a sleepsnacker are a subtle taste of chocolate, honey barbecue chips, Ben&Jerry Banana Ice Cream or peanut butter in their mouth upon awakening.
Sometimes even all of the above.
According to a Mongolian study, the number of people affected by Sleepsnacking has increased tremendously during the past 10 years and almost doubled itself in only five years.
The trend looks scary and unstoppable.
Of course if we take out fictional characters like Liz Lemon or Ralph Winchester and anybody who’s not a celebrity (’cause why should we care?) the situation looks under control.
June 28, 2014
It’s been a long month with a crazy weather.
Here’s what I’ve been listening to:
rooftops – new found land
Over the rooftops and over the city I’m calling your name
With no one else to turn to it’s easier
to stay in a state of dreaming
Into the forest and down to the harbor I wander alone
My pockets are empty but it’s ok
’cause my heart is full of something close to divine
I won’t let the summer get in the way of my permanent melancholic mood.
Continue Reading →
June 23, 2014
One of the greatest things about living far from home is that distance brings clearness.
In particular, the less you speak your mother tongue, the more you start noticing tiny little things about it.
Sometimes it’s cute things, like the fact that the words sonnellino (nap in Italian) and burrone (Italian for ravine) sound pretty hilarious.
And then there’s those other times in which you realize something gross that will make you wanna return your passoport, like the fact that the language you’ve spoken nonstop for 26 years has kind of a poop fixation.
Pooping someone or Cagare qualcuno means paying attention to what somebody is saying or, more generically, to notice someone.
- How’s it going with Francesco? Has he asked you out yet?
- Not at all. He barely poops me….
- …and after that could you please drive the kids to school?
- Hello?! Could you poop me?
- What’s on your mind lately? You’re so distracted!
To make someone poop or Fare cagare a qualcuno means to Continue Reading →
June 20, 2014
Went to Xiu Xiu and Owen Pallett‘s concert in Berlin (more precisely at Volksbuehne) with my friend Simone.
I really couldn’t tell if Xiu Xiu amazed me or disappointed me. I guess part of me was engaged by the crazy good performance and the other was creeped out by the music. Sort of like when your cat brings you a dead bird/mouse inside the house as a gift.
Both the latest record and this concert seem to suggest that the melody days are over and a new era of dark dark dark music has just started for this American duo.
Upside: they’re a sexy band.
Continue Reading →
June 16, 2014
Note: I wrote this post two days before the disappearance of MA flight 370 and decided not to put it live until now. I don’t find plane disasters funny and -duh – the reason why I wrote this in the first place is that I fear them every time I travel. Life is scary and we need to cope with our anxiety. This is how I do it.
Have you noticed how the web is saturated with tips and tricks about facing your fear of flying and nobody ever pays attention to the people who DON’T HAVE this problem?
They suffer too, you know?
They’re missing the
paralysing terror excitement on the day before the flight, the cramps butterflies in their stomach at takeoff and the everlasting anxiety adrenaline during flight time.
If you’re one of these people and you feel your life is lacking a needed element of drama, the following guide is for you.
If you follow each step of this tutorial you’ll literally piss your pants every time you’re on a plane and you’ll finally have something to truly worry about in your life.
You’ll thank me.
1) Remember that Connecting means Dying
A lot of people mistakenly assume that the anxiety connected to flying starts when you step on a plane.
If you wanna be a real phobic you need to start panicking months in advance, while purchasing your plane ticket.
Just do anything you possibly can to avoid connecting flights. If the Universe decides that you’re lucky enough to survive one flight, taking two planes on the same day can lead to just one thing.
Yes, some time ago I did tweet this:
but I’ve never tweeted anything like I’m a perfectly coherent person or I’m the king of things that make sense.
So here we go, fasten your seat belts, it’s gonna be a crazy GIF-ride.
Kristin trying to look threatening in her reaper coat
Hilly, my favorite tarot reader at Astro TV
Continue Reading →
June 3, 2014
Hey boyz and girlz. It’s time, again, for my much awaited monthly mixtape, featuring the best jams I’ve listened to in the past month. Hopefully I’ll manage to stop writing like a 13 y/o by the end of this post.
owen pallett – on a path
If you “stand on a city that you don’t know anymore” (a pretty common feeling here in Berlin) this is the song for you