Keep your friends close and your enemies’ closet

Sometimes miracles happen.

Not stuff like resurrecting the dead or being able to lick your own elbow, though. Nothing like that. I’m talking about those everyday gestures that surprise you in their simplicity, like a selfless act of kindness coming from someone you don’t expect.

Take my neighbour, for example.

She’s changing the furniture in her flat and instead of throwing everything away she’s decided to donate her old (but still respectable) closet to whoever wants it.

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It warms my heart, if I think about it.

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There is just

one

small

problem.

She basically pushed it out of her door and left it on the landing for weeks, waiting (I guess) for one of the residents of the building to “adopt” it and bring it home.

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Actually no, there is a second small problem to this story.

Her flat is on the last floor of the building and – given that she hasn’t hung any flyers around – there is just two people who could possibly notice and take in the “present”: Stephen and me.

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Did she ask us directly if we would like to have it? Of course not.

I know my building is not new to weird findings on the landings.

There is that time of the bathtub.

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finding a bathtub on the landing: check

View on Instagram

 

And the time of the cookie-flavoured baby food which I may or may not have tried.      

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no food in the house ‘cept for some baby food i found on the stairs of my building. draw your conclusion View on Instagram

Still.

The only weirder behaviour would have been the neighbour leaving the closet wrapped in a blanket on our doorstep, ringing the bell and running away like they do with newborns in movies when they wanna give them ” a better life”.

The most plausible theories about this mystery are currently the following:

1) The neighbour suffers from orror vacui and thought all that empty space between our two doors could use some decoration.

2) She thought “Oh well. If they don’t want it it’s going to biodegrade by itself at some point”

3) The closet is a passage to another dimension

4) The closet is edible

5) The closet will be used to give shelter to a family of squirrels

6) The closet will be our “guest room” for when our parents visit

7) Our building has been chosen as the location for the remake of Small Wonder (she used to sleep in a closet)

Let me know if you can think of anything else.

About the Author

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Federico is a human love letter to the internet. His favourite activities include: hypochondriasis, a tragic vision of the future and lowering his life expectancy one pastry at a time. You can stalk him on TWITTER / FACEBOOK / INSTAGRAM


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