QUIZ: What annoying feature of the German language are you?

Warning! This is not Buzzfeed. If you wanna take this personality test you’re going to need a piece of paper and a pencil to note down your answers, like real men (and women!) do. If you’re a lazy bum, just go on Buzzfeed and find out if you’re a bad person (which you are, if you’re leaving this page).

It’s Friday night and you’re awaited for dinner by:

A) My fans. I’m gonna show up one hour late and demand that we pick another restaurant. Just because.

B) One or two close friends, nothing major.

C) My Mom. Hopefully.

D) The Puzzles-and-ancient-languages-and-boring-hobbies Club. I’m the president.

E) Friends whom I don’t really like.

If you were a Berlin attraction:

A) Siegessaeule

B) Teufelsberg

C) That..thing. That got destroyed. It’s a parking lot now.

D) Museum der dinge

E) Hamburger Bahnhof

Your Lebensmotto:

A) Probably something I said

B) “There is more than meets the eye”

C) “Everybody loves a winner so nobody loved me”

D) Divide and rule

D) Any line from The Little Prince

 

If you were an actor/actress

A) Is there anything more popular than James Franco?

B) Michelle Williams

C) I’d play the corpse in some bathtub. It probably wouldn’t make it into the final cut anyway.

D) I’ve read the Stanislavski’s system is good.

E) One of those fucked up Wunderkinder

 

Favourite Drink:

A) Rotk├Ąppchen

B) Wodka Mate

C) Leitungswasser

D) Gin Tonic with a third of Gin, just a sprinkle of sugar and exactly two ice cubes.

E) I change every time

Favourite Bezirk in Berlin

A) Mitte

B) Wedding

C) Treptow

D) Prenzlauer Berg

E) Neukoelln

Pick a superpower:

A) Making stuff explode

B) Astral projection

C) Invisibility

D) Counting without using your fingers

E) Transfiguration

PROFILES
(without cute banners ’cause this is not Buzzfeed)

Majority of A – VERB AT THE END:

You’re important and you know it, which makes you often behave like a full fledged prima donna. You’re the engine of your friends circle, the leader of your work team; the people in your life look up to your charisma and your presence is what actually keeps them together, what gives them a meaning. Unfortunately your big personality comes with a dramatic, narcissistic spirit that can end up sabotaging your natural leadership.

Majority of B – TRENNBARES VERB

Under a superficial look you may seem just an average, banal human being. Only the few patient enough to look closer will find a piece of you that’s been hidden, purposely kept out of sight. That piece is what truly makes you special and remarkable, defining your personality in a unique way. You should try to let people know you better and show them your composite, complex nature!

Majority of C – N-DEKLINATION

You’re a total outsider: either people don’t know you exist or they deliberately choose to ignore you. Of course you wish things were different, but deep down you’re aware of the fact that dealing with you is mentally exhausting. You should learn to be less demanding of other people!

Majority of D – TeKaMoLo

Structure and discipline! Everything and everyone should be in its right place! You act as if your rules were set in stone and any diversion from them horrifies you big time. Logic is the only lens you use to watch the world and this keeps you from enjoying life and treating people with empathy. You should get loose a bit!

Majority of E – Mal

Who are you? You’ve been put into so many different contexts and situations that you’re starting to lose track of your real self. You’ve been used and misused, so many times that your purpose seems now extremely varied and considerably blur. You need to find yourself and your own meaning in this ocean of possibilities.

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About the Author

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Federico is a human love letter to the internet. His favourite activities include: hypochondriasis, a tragic vision of the future and lowering his life expectancy one pastry at a time. You can stalk him on TWITTER / FACEBOOK / INSTAGRAM


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2 Comments

  1. roland rasmussen

    I answered all the multiple choice questions in a little loopy swirl crayon and marked them with a “D”. This was not Buzzfeed alas. (Deep sigh.) Needless to say…Ich liebte den Test.

    • Fede

      Glad to read that! Also, I would have never expected so many TeKaMoLos!

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