One of the greatest things about living far from home is that distance brings clearness.
In particular, the less you speak your mother tongue, the more you start noticing tiny little things about it.
Sometimes it’s cute things, like the fact that the words sonnellino (nap in Italian) and burrone (Italian for ravine) sound pretty hilarious.
And then there’s those other times in which you realize something gross that will make you wanna return your passoport, like the fact that the language you’ve spoken nonstop for 26 years has kind of a poop fixation.
Pooping someone or Cagare qualcuno means paying attention to what somebody is saying or, more generically, to notice someone.
– How’s it going with Francesco? Has he asked you out yet?
– Not at all. He barely poops me….
– …and after that could you please drive the kids to school?
– Hello?! Could you poop me?
– What’s on your mind lately? You’re so distracted!
To make someone poop or Fare cagare a qualcuno means to Read More
Have you noticed how the web is saturated with tips and tricks about facing your fear of flying and nobody ever pays attention to the people who DON’T HAVE this problem?
They suffer too, you know?
They’re missing the
paralysing terror excitement on the day before the flight, the cramps butterflies in their stomach at takeoff and the everlasting anxiety adrenaline during flight time.
If you’re one of these people and you feel your life is lacking a needed element of drama, the following guide is for you.
If you follow each step of this tutorial you’ll literally piss your pants every time you’re on a plane and you’ll finally have something to truly worry about in your life.
You’ll thank me.
1) Remember that Connecting means Dying
Only 1 hour and 5 minutes to connect to my KLM flight by Swire, on Flickr
A lot of people mistakenly assume that the anxiety connected to flying starts when you step on a plane.
If you wanna be a real phobic you need to start panicking months in advance, while purchasing your plane ticket.
Just do anything you possibly can to avoid connecting flights. If the Universe decides that you’re lucky enough to survive one flight, taking two planes on the same day can lead to just one thing.
2) Choose the right seat Read More
Yes, some time ago I did tweet this:
but I’ve never tweeted anything like I’m a perfectly coherent person or I’m the king of things that make sense.
So here we go, fasten your seat belts, it’s gonna be a crazy GIF-ride.
Kristin trying to look threatening in her reaper coat
Hilly, my favorite tarot reader at Astro TV