Yearly archives of “2013

Carbs on Carbs

If we’re friends, colleagues or you work at Back-Factory, you’re probably aware of the fact that I’m a Carbs enthusiast.

Let’s face it: carbohydrates stick with you – more precisely in your thighs and butt – longer than friends and lovers; they ARE one of the few certainties in our lives and we need to honour them by baking and eating cookies and cakes and muffins and schinken-kaese croissants several times a week.

carbs on carbs

I’ve always fancied them, as far as I remember, but I think dating an American for the past year has been a game changer: he expanded my horizons and showed me new possibilities of use which made my love for high-in-carbs food stronger and stronger. Read More

HalLoveween

As you could probably already guess, I belong to that vast group of people who tend to have a bipolar behaviour towards love.

When I’m not in a relationship and I see people on the street holding hands my first desire is to shoot them with a rifle and barf on their descendants (all things that would be totally acceptable in an episode of Game of Thrones or, say, Russia but for some reason not in Berlin) .

Being annoyed by PDA is not the problem, though. The real problem comes when I start being in a relationship myself and experience a change of heart combined with a slight loss of lucidity, which in the past may or may not have me facing legal threats and false accusations of stalking.

As if the second date were really too soon to change your Facebook profile picture to a photo of you and your loved one.

Having sex.

Anyway, when Halloween came, some weeks ago, the most normal thing for me was dressing up as my boyfriend…

halloween costume

…and shoot a video in which I impersonate him. Read More

Infographic: Gender distribution in Social Media!

After collecting data for months I can finally publish the results of my study about gender distribution in social media. The data have been collected by looking over the shoulders of strangers in the train and going through the browser history of my colleagues while they were taking their lunch breaks. Hope you enjoy the resulting infographic.

gender distribution in social media infographic

Lidl and Me: an update

After writing about my relationship problems with Lidl, the german supermarkets chain, I experienced some weird emotions. Expressing my deepest feelings like that, in front of everybody, made me feel naked and vulnerable, and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t have written one more word about it.

But then hundreds of you wrote to cheer me up, give me relationship advice and ask me how things with Lidl were going, so I figured the least I could do is give you a short update on the situation.

lidl and me

I’ll be completely honest with you: we went through tough times. Read More

If you liked it then you shoulda put a pope on it

Like them or not, popes are the oldest community managers in human history.

Penalized by an absent CEO and a troublemaker COO, the Catholic Church wasn’t doing that well as a startup. It’s only after the figure of the pope was introduced – in fact – that the community started thriving and could be taken to a new level.

Opinionists, bloggers, press magnetizers: popes have been around less than Jesus (but more than – for example – Pokemons) and nonetheless they proved to be amazing brand ambassadors, always coming up with new outstanding marketing ideas.

During my recent trip to Rome, in particular, I noticed that the Church’s marketing efforts have become more and more visual. Take a look, for example, at these postcards, masterpieces of graphic design, featuring random circles placed over Rome from which various popes send a benevolent look to your friends and family.

pope francis postcard Read More

The Barbie Dreamhouse Near Death Experience

At first I didn’t want to write about my Barbie® Dreamhouse Experience. I wanted to bury it in me till the day I’d be able to afford professional help.

Then I realized how many unaware followers Barbie has and I can’t stay silent anymore. I need to save them. I need to write about it, even if it means reliving that childhood trauma you pretend was just a bad dream.

Dramatic Pause.
Flashback.

barbie dream house experience

Barbie®’s house was built overnight next to the ugliest shopping mall in Berlin. Just like that. We woke up and there it was, like the castle of a very gay Dracula screaming “I’m in town, bitches!”. I didn’t want to go there, actually, but every time I’d pass by I felt the dark pink side of the force calling me, seducing my soul from afar with its sober yet fascinating elegance. Plus: a giant fountain shaped like a girly shoe. How could I resist?! Read More

Lidl, we need to talk

I won’t lie to you: when it comes to german supermarkets, REWE is my true and only love.

logo rewe

Rewe is sexy (every time I step in I feel the excitement of the first time) but it’s not like a one night stand. It is there for me, it cuddles me with selected delicious brands, it brings me the groceries home when I’m a lazy ass, it instructs me about the german culture with compelling sticker collections. Let’s admit it: there is nothing like REWE.

That said, I’ve always thought of you, Lidl, as a good number two.  You were like an old friend I don’t see so often but I know I can always count on. You were direct, focused on substance rather than appearance, always there to give me just what I needed without useless embellishments.

Lidl_logo

I used to care for you, and I know you used to care for me, but things have changed, we grew apart. I could have just stayed silent and turn to Aldi or Netto, but I really want things to be good again, therefore I’m going to tell you why I’m hurt. Read More

The Most Exciting Afternoon of our Lives

Warning! The following is a humorous text about the day the royal baby made his first public appearance. If you’re looking for REAL news, you might wanna check out the Guardian

 

About one week ago I went visiting my boyfriend at his place and found him staring at his laptop, catatonic, giving no sign of reaction. At first I thought he got Stendhal syndrome from his Titanic Desktop background, again, but then realised something epic and remarkable was about to happen.

royal baby first appeareance cnn

Main Title: Royal couple and prince to appear any minute
William and Kate were about to exit that very door with their newborn baby and CNN was documenting everything. What a special event! Thank God I caught it on time, I know I would have killed myself if I had missed it! Read More