Yearly archives of “2013”

February 27, 2013

I peed some pee – a review of Les Miserables

Yesterday night I went to watch Les Miserables. I didn’t know much about the movie (or the musical. or the book) but my obsession for Anne Hathaway totally forced me to go.She was amazing, obviously, but the film wasn’t. Too long, too much singing, too much Russel Crowe.

I wanted to write a review, but memories of distant times spent reviewing Ugly Betty episodes told me that I’m not good at that.

Therefore I decided to sing my review of Les Miserables, instead of writing it. Which not only will make it more fun, but will also crown me as the new Susan Boyle.

I called it I peed some pee: click on the link below to listen; I’m gonna write the lyrics right below.

Click here to listen

February 23, 2013

Car Wash

And the car needs to be washed, of course – he said. And Yes, of course – said my mom after a thirty seconds pause. If the annoying neighbor would have knocked at the door and asked with her annoying voice Is anybody there?, like she had done many times before, I would have answered that no, none of us was there. Not after that phone call, at least. Read More

February 8, 2013

Oh (no!) Tannenbaum

O Tannebaum, O Tannebaum,
You give us so much pleasure!
How oft at Christmas tide the sight,
O green fir tree, gives us delight!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
You give us so much pleasure!

O Tannenbaum, says Wikipedia, is a german song composed in the 19th century. We’ve all sung it during Xmas holidays, at some point, and apparently it was such a big hit in Germany that american people decided to ~~steal it~~ take inspiration from it and use its melody to create the official states’ songs of Maryland, Michigan, Florida and Iowa, accidentally forgetting to let everybody know that the tune wasn’t original, just like Natalie Imbruglia did with Torn. According to Wikipedia, its lyrics refer to the fir’s evergreen qualities as a symbol of constancy and faithfulness. Read More

January 27, 2013

No Country For Short Men

When I first got here, I was living in a house at the borders of a forest with an exceptionally short german guy and two tiny taiwanese men. I felt like Snow White among the dwarves, with the exception that I was the one working all day long and they were constantly home doing my laundry, cooking for me and all that stuff. It was great knowing that there was a place, in this cold gigantic country, populated by people shorter than 1.70 and that I was their king.

Unfortunately after some months they went bad, like cute Gremlins that someone inadvertently fed after midnight: all of a sudden one of them became an alcoholic, one tried to sell me ecstasy in the kitchen and the other touched my bulge in the bus.

I had to move, even though this meant losing my special place in the world and facing the awful truth that I’m just another short Italian man. And of course this affected many aspects and situations. In my dating life, I’ve always been Getting Ghosted after the first date. I know this is due to my height which is why I am trying to learn something how to deal with it. Read More

January 25, 2013

Eyes Open

In place of mouths, fallible taps dripping a silent something. It drops from our lips, between a yawn and one last kiss, only to dive into the bigger silence that fills the room and keeps you from sleeping. The radio obeys your tired fingers and starts playing, just for us, a soundtrack of terrible news. There’s hand slapping and heads rolling, far away, and there’s your eyelids shutting on the day like merciless guillottines. The unemployment rate raises like your chest under my hand under my head, and then goes down again. The tankers sink in seas that quickly black out like the dreams we’re about to forget. And I have this guilt in me, ’cause everything is fine although everything is wrong, ’cause I can’t keep my eyes open. There’s going to be coffee in the morning.

January 18, 2013

Almost getting it kind of together

The title of this post underlines pretty clearly my current lack of creativity (being that it’s stolen from Lena Dunham), but it’s also a perfect opening for the most abused topic somebody could ever write about: new year’s resolutions.

I don’t want to annoy you with the complete list of things I’d like to get done this year (which, if you insist, includes stuff like learning how to play the ukulele or visit Belgrade) but I’d rather focus on a concrete, adult and important goal: taking control of my financial situation. Read More