The internet knows things about you which you’re still not aware of. Anything you’ve ever shared, anything you’ve written while you were drunk or angry or in search of attention, is recorded and delineates a big picture of behaviours and thoughts that is bigger than your consciousness.
In particular, what the internet told me recently is that I speak a lot about hair.
In fact, it turns out hair is the topic I tweet about the most.
Hard to admit it, but that makes sense. I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with my puffy, untamable hair. I think it’s a feisty component of my look and (when it gets too long) it makes me stand out against my will. It’s what makes my shadow look like the one of a Playmobil figure and what makes my life motto “Every day is a bad hair day”.
On the other hand it’s also true that 30 years after my birth my hair is still right where it belongs. I’m gonna celebrate that by going down memory lane with a selection of tweets that the Internet is kindly harvesting for me.
September 3. 2013 – Porn Hair
Going to the hairdresser is just embarrassing for me. Why don’t they just invent gloryholes for hair?
— Federico (@amorequietplace) September 3, 2013
September 10. 2013 – Lost Hair
September 12. 2013 – Wishful Hair
You know that thing of making a wish with fallen eyelashes? Can I also do it with nose hair after I trimmed it?
— Federico (@amorequietplace) September 12, 2013
September 27. 2013 – Tribute Hair
I said I wanted to pay an homage to Amy Winehouse, but I actually just forgot to comb my hair
— Federico (@amorequietplace) September 27, 2013
September 28. 2013 – Hair with a point
October 3. 2013 – Illegal Hair
Gosh, I’m not even sure my hair would be legal in some middle eastern country
— Federico (@amorequietplace) October 3, 2013
October 4. 2013 – Reasonable Doubt Hair
Ask for your hair after you’ve been to the hairdresser.The next time you see it might be on the head of some guy having a mid life crisis — Federico (@amorequietplace) October 4, 2013
October 25. 2013 – Terminal Hair
guys it’s friday night and it looks like i have hair cancer
— Federico (@amorequietplace) October 25, 2013
November 11. 2013 – Parallel Universe Hair
Do you ever stop and wonder how your lives would be different if you had different hair? — Federico (@amorequietplace) November 11, 2013
March 23. 2014 – Hochzeit Hair
Vodafone tried to convince me I’m not me just ’cause I couldn’t give them some stupid code. I’m Sandra Bullock in The Net, but with bad hair
— Federico (@amorequietplace) November 27, 2013
March 23. 2014 – Wedding Hair
June 18. 2014 – Hair on your way
June 17. 2014 – Gross Requests Hair
if you love me trim my nose hair while i’m asleep
— Federico (@amorequietplace) June 17, 2014
September 19. 2014 – Fairy Tale Hair
i’ll always defend happy endings just because “they lived happily ever after” will always beat “they never washed their hair again” — Federico (@amorequietplace) September 19, 2014
November 16. 2014 – Puffy Hair
I dream of a world in which science found a cure for puffy hair — Federico (@amorequietplace) November 16, 2014
December 12. 2014 – Cra-cra Hair
I have the hair of a crazy Elvis impersonator and this doesn’t make me proud — Federico (@amorequietplace) December 12, 2014
December 31. 2014 – New Hair’s Eve
Here we are. The one night of the year in which pyromaniacs and bombers can feast on the streets and i wish my hair was fire-proof — Federico (@amorequietplace) December 31, 2014