All posts filed under “Other stuff in other places

Jennings, Elizabeth – A Fashion Blog from The Americans

I did not think the “blogger’s block” was a thing until it hit me, heavily, around six months ago.

All of a sudden, the mundane happenings that had always been my muse were failing to inspire me. I was metaphorically shooting blanks.

Since I’m still out of ideas but the show must go on, this week I’m putting in the driver’s seat my beautiful and talented friend Elizabeth Jennings (Liz).

Liz is the epitome of the woman who has it all: career (she’s part-time travel agent, part-time nurse), family (married to Philip and mother of Paige and Henry) and in the little free time she has, she manages to pursue creative projects like keeping the Soviet Union together or disposing bodies.

Given that she also possesses an exquisit and transformative sense of style, I asked her to put together some outfits to express the eclectic, multi-layered shades of her personality. Take it away Liz!

 Outfit #1

Outfit #2

Outfit #3

I stole this look from a university professor I saw on the internet.

Ok, it was actually a girl *playing* a professor in a YouPorn video LOL. I had to pause the video quickly because, as much as I have an eye for detail, she did not wear clothes for very long.

This is my outfit of choice for when I attend Meetup.com gatherings with business people.

What do YOU wear when you want them to “smell money and success” instead of that discounted perfume  you bought from a barefoot woman on the streets of Minsk in 1985?

Tell me in the comments!

elizabeth the americans sexy teacher disguise

Outfit#4

Outfit #5

Outfit #6

This is me on the day I told my coiffeur I wanted to look like Baby from Dirty Dancing and it turned out like a Bichon Frise deceased on my skull .

I was like: “Dimitry, FFS, I wanna be supportive of Mother Russia but I’m not one of your eastern pop singers who probably get their perm done in prison”.

To lift myself up I got a McFlurry on my way home :P :P

How do YOU cope with a bad hair day? Tell me in the comments!

elizabeth the americans bad perm disguise

Outfit #7

Outfit #8

Outfit #9

This is the outfit I wore in the music video of “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift.

A few weeks earlier, a guy saw me on the street while I was beating the crap out of two enemies of the cause and he was like “Badass! Wanna take part in a video?”.

At first I was hesitant, since Taylor being a neo-nazi icon kinda conflicts with my political views, but I wanted to get a selfie with Selena Gomez so whatevs.

elizabeth the americans bad blood disguise

Outfit #10

Outfit #11

Outfit #12

Girls, this is the perfect look if you ever want to host a feminist book club. The silver hair screams “old soul book worm” but the hipster glasses give it that special je-ne-sais-quoi to make you look approachable, modern and fun!

Tbh Marx’s Capital was supposed to be our first book but was a little bit long and we decided to turn the book club into a movie night. Sharknado GAVE ME LIFE!!1!

elizabeth disguise the americans

Outfit#13

Outfit #14

Outfit #15

I feel SO badass in this pic! I was headed to the christening of my christian-fundamentalist daughter Paige and I wanted a look that said “I’m proud of you” but also “religion is the opiate of the masses” ROTFLLL.

Too bad you can’t see the Marylin Manson 1997 Tour t-shirt I was wearing under that coat.

elizabeth badass disguise the americans

Outfit #16

Outfit #17

Bonus Track: this is my friend Paige (ok, daughter, but everyone thinks we’re sisters LOL).

She asked me for advice on Halloween and I wanted her to dress up like the female lead in Battleship Potemkin. The costume was kinda too elaborate to make, though, so in the end she decided to go to the party as Harry Potter.

Hahahahahaahaha she’s my biggest disappointment in life.

paige disguise the americans

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5 Date Ideas For ABC’s The Bachelorette

I don’t know how this happened, but my boyfriend and I watched three episodes of ABC’s dating show The Bachelorette.

The current season is about single lady JoJo Fletcher looking for her soul mate among a group of men who secretly aim at becoming  underwear models and being booked for wild club nights in Pocatello, Idaho.

the bachelorette

In order to know the contestants better, JoJo gets to interact with them through two kinds of social occasions: the cocktail party and the date. The cocktail party is an evening event where everybody gets to dress nicely and be as slutty and inappropriate as humanly possible thanks to roofies dropped in everyone’s glass by the producers of the show (if this isn’t true, I am blaming Marti Noxon). The date, on the other hand, shows sober contestants in your typical first date activities, such as role playing fire fighters out for a 911 call or flying to San Francisco on a private jet.

Now. I know that tv calls for entertainment, but my girl JoJo is admittedly trying to find A HUSBAND and I don’t think she’s being given conclusive information on these boys. Because honestly, I would marry the monster of Milwaukee right now if our first date involved a private jet.

For this reason, I’ve compiled a list of 5 exciting date ideas that will provide JoJo and future bachelorettes with everything they need to know in order to recognize THE ONE. You’re welcome ABC.

1) 12 Hour Shopping Spree (Endurance Comp.)

Bring your beau on a twelve hour shopping spree to find mascara, a pair of socks and a winter  jacket for your dog. Try to explain to him the complex ecosystem of animal clothing brands and ask his opinion on which shade of black better suits your eyes. Read More

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6 ways the Great British Bake Off changed me

One day I got home and my boyfriend looked excited.

I immediately compiled a mental list of possible reasons and realized that the most likely ones wouldn’t really be relevant to me.

pie_chart

“I found an amazing tv show!”, he exclaimed, and my mind flashed back to fifty-seven different conversations proving how our tv tastes can often diverge.

 

 

– “What’s it about?”

– “It’s a reality show about a bunch of amateur British bakers who take part in a baking competition! Every week there are baking challenges and one of the contestants gets eliminated!”

I was shocked.

Ages ago I wanted to write a tv series about a group of elders who tour the United States on a bus and take part in Bridge competitions. It would have been a mesmerizing mix of Golden Girls and Friday Night Lights. Then I was reminded by pretty much everyone that old people and card games aren’t on anybody’s radar and that no network – “NOT EVEN HBO” – would ever consider producing that.

So there I was, years later, hearing from the mouth of my very boyfriend that BBC is airing a show about baking stuff and that retired housewives are not the only ones watching it.

But I decided I would give The Great British Bake Off a try. I watched the first couple of episodes from a distract, skeptical distance until it actually grew on me. And then came love. And then came obsession. And then I realized all the alarming ways this show has changed me, possibly forever,  and decided to enlist them here.

1) The GBBO made me a bipolar viewer

Read More

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17 RomCom Quotes That Also Work If Addressed to Pizza

When Harry Met Sally

New York, New Year’s Eve. Harry’s home alone and single when he realizes that the only thing he needs to be happy is pizza. The supermarkets are about to close and his dramatic, desperate run to buy frozen pizza makes for a heartbreaking declaration.

whenharry_pizza

The Hunger Games

A bunch of strangers are sent to a jungly place and the lack of pizza joints makes them rightfully homicidal.

hungergames_pizza

City of Angels

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[Infographic] Should You Buy a Blender?

When I bought my first blender I was full of hopes and dreams about it.

I thought I’d become a new, healthier man who exercises regularly and asks his friends “Is this BIO? Oh, right, it’s not, you can really taste the difference”.

The truth turned out to be a little different than that. If you’re considering buying a blender you should be aware of the unexpected, comical, useless, disappointing consequences and this infographic is for you.

infographic_consequence_buying_blenderI made this with Easel.ly

 What you want to happen

 

Becoming the new Gwyneth Paltrow

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The Indian Abduction or My first Bollywood movie

I started this post more than one year ago. I started it and then realized how painful and traumatic would have been to relive the time of my kidnapping; those three endless hours in which I got psychologically tortured by a bunch of Indian folks.

I wished I could erase this from my mind and pretend it didn’t happen.

I wished I could forget everything and not having to talk about it again.

I wished a lot of things, but then some days ago I found this in my mailbox.

 

bollywoodatbabylon

The movie theatre Babylon, in Berlin, is giving away free tickets for a couple of Indian movies and I can’t – I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN’T – let Bollywood make another victim. Read More

[Quiz] Which Dirty Dancing Baby are you?

Warning! This is not Buzzfeed. If you wanna take this personality quiz you’re going to need a piece of paper and a pencil to note down your answers, like real men (and women!) do. If you’re a lazy bum, just go on Buzzfeed and find out if you’re a bad person (which you are, if you’re leaving this page).

I recently found out that my boyfriend has never seen Dirty Dancing and a part of me died forever.

The only thing I can do is honoring this undiscussable masterpiece and its protagonist with a quiz.

baby

 

Can you lick your elbow?

A) I cannot. I’m a failure.

B) Nothing’s impossible. Believe in your dreams.

C) Sure! Haven’t you seen my latest Facebook Album?

D) No, but I can lick yours if you let me

You run into that boy you have a crush on. You:

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Tote Bags for Dysfunctional People – Enter the Giveaway

Update: I used to have an Etsy shop selling these bags but it’s not there anymore. Drop me an email if you’d like to buy one; I might consider getting back into business ;-)

tote bag giveaway

(Even though the weather in Berlin is momentarily revolting) Totes Season is Coming!

What better occasion to proudly show off how irreparably damaged we are?

I made these for some friends and now I have TWO to give away on the blog.

Here’s what you need to do to enter the contest:

1) Enter my mailing list (on the right sidebar of this page!)

2) Leave a comment to this post, letting me know which of the four bags you see below is your favourite (and please use the same email address you used for the mailing list)

3) Share this post on Facebook

Easy Peasy! On the first of July I’ll assign a number to each contestant and Read More

I react to Kids react

I’ve never spent that much time on YouTube and I’ve always been immune to the charm of Youtube Stars. The only exception to the rule seem to be The Fine Brothers:I’ve discovered them pretty late but now I’m totally obsessed with their YouTube Channel, especially with a series of videos called Kids react, in which kids from 3 to 13 years old are asked to give thoughts and opinions on stuff. I’ve already made clear to my one year old niece that she won’t get my love or attention unless she makes it into the show.

Since Christmas is about loving and accepting everybody without any distinction, I’ve decided to make a top three list of my favourite kids from the show. Here we go: Read More

On the dutch royal family

Just a couple of days ago I was planning my first trip to Amsterdam and found out, not without a bit of surprise, that the Netherlands have a royal family. I immediately wondered why I don’t ever hear of them, not even from the biggest expert in european royalty I’ve ever met. Are they so boring that trashy magazines just ignore them? The answer – according to The Guardian – is a big “no”! A lot of the stories concerning the dutch royal family have actually The-Bald-and-the-beautiful potential and shouldn’t go unheard. Too bad that I already booked a room at the Accor Hotel in Amsterdam: since they’re the coolest royal family in Europe they would probably let me couch surf at their castle if I asked. But let’s review briefly who the members of the family are.

Queen Beatrix
File photo showing Netherlands' Queen Beatrix smiling during a welcome ceremony at a former coal mine in Essen

She’s been the queen of Holland until a couple of months ago, when she said “fuck it, I’m neither the pope nor queen Elizabeth! I’m gonna pass the crown to my son and go living life adventurously”. So she signed a couple of papers and probably went on one of the dutch caribbean islands to party all night long.
She doesn’t wear hats but nests. Read More